How to get soap in your mouth!

Growing up we all had childhood friends some of whom are still friends today.  One of my best friends was Gary,  he and his family lived a few houses away.  We played together and shared all our toys.  We were always around to help each other celebrate the biggies, especially the birthdays.

Gary's family had a few rough edges and I learned most of my "bad" words at his house.  It was wonderful!  I also learned to enjoy potato chip and ketchup sandwiches!

On Gary's twelfth birthday he received a most magnificent electric train set.  He was ecstatic and couldn't wait to get it set up so he could play with it.  I was envious but knew I'd be able to be the engineer at some point down the road just like when I had gotten my new bike and he got to ride it after I rode the newness off.

I stopped by his house for two reasons.  One he said that I could play with the train and his mom had made our favorite cake.  She made the best cakes!

So on this particular day we started acting out the passenger train scenario.  Loading, unloading, and all that fun stuff.  Well Gary decided to be the conductor and started announcing the stops etc.  So all of a sudden he stops the train and says, "All you sons of bitches who want off, get off now cause this is the last stop.  And all you sons a bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train cause we're leaving!"  He started giggling and it was contagious!

Of course this outburst brought his mom in from the kitchen and she said, "You don't use that kind of language in this house.  Now I want you to go to your room for two hours.  When you come out you can call Tom and he can come over and you can play together again but I want you to use nice language."

Gary went to his room and I split and went back to my house and watched some tv and played catch with the garage door.

A while later my mom comes out on the back porch and says that Gary called and I should come over.  Oh boy, maybe I'll get to run the train.

I get there and we resume playing with the train after having a piece of cake.  The train went round and round and all of a sudden Gary stops the train and says "Attention passengers!"  I could hear his mom stop what she was doing in the kitchen.  Gary says, "All passengers who are disembarking the train please remember to take all your belongings with you.  We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope that you will ride with us again soon."
"For those of you just boarding we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.  Please remember that there is no smoking except in the club car.  We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today!"

He then exclaims, "All aboard!" He hesitates a moment and then says, "For those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen"?

I bolted for the door, jumped on my bike and headed for home!  I figured he'd call in about a week!